1 00:00:02,820 --> 00:00:04,810 Ay,finally! 2 00:00:04,840 --> 00:00:08,360 look who's wearing her itsy bitsy bikini. 3 00:00:08,440 --> 00:00:09,810 He can comment because he's raggay. 4 00:00:09,850 --> 00:00:12,110 - He was talking about lily. - So was i. 5 00:00:12,140 --> 00:00:14,900 Ay,cam,you make her look so pretty. 6 00:00:14,940 --> 00:00:17,840 - Guess who's not coming for christmas. - And the spotlight shifts. 7 00:00:17,870 --> 00:00:19,640 - Mom. She cancelled. - What? 8 00:00:19,680 --> 00:00:20,910 In a voice mail,no less. 9 00:00:20,950 --> 00:00:23,560 Unbelievable-and by that,I mean believable. 10 00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:24,950 Why isn't nana coming? 11 00:00:24,980 --> 00:00:28,630 I don't know. Something about her new boyfriend whisking her away on a cruise. 12 00:00:28,670 --> 00:00:31,200 - I just got my gift. - What boyfriend? 13 00:00:31,230 --> 00:00:34,080 carl the cruise ship captain. 14 00:00:34,150 --> 00:00:35,660 It was in her holiday newsletter. 15 00:00:35,690 --> 00:00:37,440 Oh,I can't read that whole thing. No. 16 00:00:37,510 --> 00:00:39,600 Yeah,after two pages about the bird she rescued... 17 00:00:39,680 --> 00:00:42,660 And by the way,I don't think you can say you rescued something if it dies. 18 00:00:42,700 --> 00:00:44,730 - It died? - She wrote a poem about it. 19 00:00:44,770 --> 00:00:48,590 A little too free with the free verse for my taste,but fine,we'll call it a poem. 20 00:00:48,630 --> 00:00:51,600 I stopped reading after she talked about suing her book club. 21 00:00:51,630 --> 00:00:55,080 Oh,I stopped reading after "dear friends,family and others... " 22 00:00:55,120 --> 00:00:56,660 i'm sorry. Who are "others"? 23 00:00:56,690 --> 00:01:00,820 - me. - No,you're not... Uh,maybe you are. 24 00:01:00,860 --> 00:01:03,410 Actually,she's kind of at her best at christmas. 25 00:01:03,450 --> 00:01:04,570 She makes a mean cookie. 26 00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:06,710 What other kind could she possibly make? 27 00:01:06,990 --> 00:01:11,160 Aw,it's so sad that you guys are not gonna be with your mom this christmas. 28 00:01:11,190 --> 00:01:12,910 - It's fine. - Yeah,it's more than fine. 29 00:01:12,950 --> 00:01:14,490 Let's just - Can we move off of mom? 30 00:01:14,530 --> 00:01:15,670 Yes,please. 31 00:01:15,710 --> 00:01:17,050 Yeah,and the upside now,mitchell- 32 00:01:17,090 --> 00:01:20,840 We can spend christmas in missouri where it actually feels like christmas. 33 00:01:20,870 --> 00:01:22,810 Wait. Hang on a second. Just because mom isn't coming 34 00:01:22,850 --> 00:01:25,240 doesn't mean we're not gonna spend christmas together. 35 00:01:25,280 --> 00:01:27,070 I mean,it's about family. 36 00:01:27,100 --> 00:01:29,110 Who do you think we're seeing in missouri,claire,the oak ridge boys? 37 00:01:29,150 --> 00:01:31,740 Hold on. I thought we were all getting together christmas eve this year. 38 00:01:31,780 --> 00:01:34,290 We're on a flight to mexico the 25th. 39 00:01:34,370 --> 00:01:36,100 What do you mean,you're getting on a flight on the 25th? 40 00:01:36,140 --> 00:01:37,510 You two needed time with your mom. 41 00:01:37,550 --> 00:01:40,870 - I've already served my time with your mom. - Oh,dad. 42 00:01:40,900 --> 00:01:42,980 Well,uh,well,when are we gonna have christmas then? 43 00:01:43,010 --> 00:01:45,450 I heard kids are getting snatched in mexico. 44 00:01:45,490 --> 00:01:48,100 - What? - Kids get snatched here just as much. 45 00:01:48,140 --> 00:01:50,620 It happens all the time. Don't be scared. 46 00:01:50,650 --> 00:01:51,790 Now when you say "all the time" - 47 00:01:51,830 --> 00:01:54,770 okay,well what about next weekend? 'cause we don't leave till the 21st,right? 48 00:01:54,810 --> 00:01:57,110 Yeah,we leave tomorrow and we don't come back until the 21st. 49 00:01:57,150 --> 00:01:59,650 Hey,math club,could you get me some more lemonade? 50 00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:02,210 Are we saying that this is the last time we're all gonna be together 51 00:02:02,250 --> 00:02:04,300 as a family until after the holidays? 52 00:02:04,340 --> 00:02:07,010 - And for you,maybe ever. - Well,this stinks. 53 00:02:07,050 --> 00:02:09,570 - Yeah,we can't do this. This is not right. - We always spend christmas together. 54 00:02:09,610 --> 00:02:11,950 Yeah,we have to do something about it. 55 00:02:11,990 --> 00:02:14,740 Ho,ho,hold up a sec. 56 00:02:14,780 --> 00:02:19,690 We're all free today. We've got four hours to shop,cook,wrap,get a tree. 57 00:02:19,730 --> 00:02:22,540 By tonight,we could be celebrating christmas,right? 58 00:02:22,570 --> 00:02:23,590 I - I guess we could do that. 59 00:02:23,630 --> 00:02:24,670 Of course we can! 60 00:02:24,710 --> 00:02:26,370 Have you ever heard of express christmas? 61 00:02:26,410 --> 00:02:28,470 No. No,you haven't,because I just invented it. 62 00:02:28,510 --> 00:02:30,290 Express christmas,"tm." 63 00:02:30,320 --> 00:02:32,250 - It's when you can't have it on christmas day... - I got it. 64 00:02:32,290 --> 00:02:33,840 - And you have to scramble. - Get on with it! 65 00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:35,530 We're wasting time! We're wasting time! 66 00:02:35,560 --> 00:02:37,820 Everyone in the house! We'll make a plan! 67 00:02:37,860 --> 00:02:41,330 Time is of the-oh! Ow! Hot! Hot! It's just too hot! 68 00:02:41,370 --> 00:02:42,780 Oh,phil! 69 00:02:42,860 --> 00:02:46,180 -=http://bbs.sfile2012.com=- -=http://ytet.org=- Proudly Presents 70 00:02:46,250 --> 00:02:51,550 -=http://bbs.sfile2012.com=- -=http://ytet.org=- Sync:ɭƤ������ 71 00:02:51,590 --> 00:02:54,090 Modern Family Season 3 Episode 10 72 00:02:54,870 --> 00:02:57,030 - So we're really doing this,huh? - Yes. 73 00:02:57,060 --> 00:02:59,020 'cause I had stuff lined up for christmas eve. 74 00:02:59,050 --> 00:03:03,290 Yeah,jay. It's manny's last chance to enjoy a family christmas. 75 00:03:03,330 --> 00:03:04,800 Until next year,you mean. 76 00:03:04,830 --> 00:03:08,240 - Well,with all the snatchings... - Get out of my head,luke! 77 00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:09,680 Okay,who's gonna get the tree? 78 00:03:09,710 --> 00:03:13,690 Oh! I will. I will. Because,you know,get the wrong kind,people get upset. 79 00:03:13,730 --> 00:03:15,450 - You get upset. - I'm people. 80 00:03:15,490 --> 00:03:17,730 Fine,I'll get the turkey. What about gifts? 81 00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:20,170 - Jay,did we finish shopping? - Yeah,but we're not wrapped. 82 00:03:20,210 --> 00:03:22,040 Oh,I can help with that. We have a mobile wrapping station. 83 00:03:22,080 --> 00:03:23,770 God,has that thing paid for itself. 84 00:03:23,800 --> 00:03:25,130 Really? 'cause I feel like I paid for it. 85 00:03:25,170 --> 00:03:27,560 Okay. We've got lights and ornaments at our place. 86 00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:28,660 Oh! You know what would be great? 87 00:03:28,700 --> 00:03:30,140 - Is the angel! - The angel. 88 00:03:30,180 --> 00:03:31,240 Yeah. Where is it? 89 00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:33,110 Oh. Um,gloria,it's up in your attic. Would you get it? 90 00:03:33,150 --> 00:03:34,850 Ay,no! Not the attic! 91 00:03:34,890 --> 00:03:37,540 it's dirty,and there are spiders. 92 00:03:37,580 --> 00:03:39,590 Oh,but it really won't be christmas without it. 93 00:03:39,630 --> 00:03:41,690 Won't be christmas with it. It's december 16th. 94 00:03:41,730 --> 00:03:43,930 Luke will help gloria. He's not scared. 95 00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:46,250 Oh,good. You won't find me in any attic. 96 00:03:46,290 --> 00:03:48,910 That may be exactly where they find you. 97 00:03:48,950 --> 00:03:49,950 mom! 98 00:03:49,990 --> 00:03:53,590 Uh,I have a party tonight. You promised I could go if I got a "b" on my test. 99 00:03:53,630 --> 00:03:56,270 I studied. I read stuff. What was the point of all that? 100 00:03:56,310 --> 00:03:58,150 - The point,young lady,is for... - Who can remember? 101 00:03:58,190 --> 00:04:00,460 Express christmas will be done by 9:00. 102 00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:02,150 - Claire,I'll text you the gift list. - Okay. 103 00:04:02,180 --> 00:04:03,630 You and haley do the shopping. 104 00:04:03,670 --> 00:04:05,950 Manny,you're coming with me. We're gonna get groceries. 105 00:04:05,990 --> 00:04:08,140 Dinner,our house,6:00. 106 00:04:08,180 --> 00:04:09,700 Let's move! 107 00:04:09,730 --> 00:04:14,150 On dasher! On dancer! On prancer and vixen! 108 00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:16,860 Hey,that kind of worked out. 109 00:04:17,060 --> 00:04:23,210 Come on,haley. It'll be fun. A lot of fun. We can go to target. Okay? 110 00:04:24,150 --> 00:04:26,020 Come on,let's go! 111 00:04:26,150 --> 00:04:29,260 So it's-it's just me and lily getting the tree,then? 112 00:04:29,730 --> 00:04:31,960 - Hello? - Hello? 113 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:34,910 My mom tells me it's "xmas" in a text? 114 00:04:34,980 --> 00:04:36,550 Yeah,well,my mom canceled in a voice mail 115 00:04:36,590 --> 00:04:40,770 and told me she had a boyfriend in a newsletter,so... Join the team. 116 00:04:40,850 --> 00:04:42,840 Put some clothes on. We're getting a tree. 117 00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:45,150 Wait. Hold on. 118 00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:50,440 - Luke! - At what? 119 00:04:50,480 --> 00:04:52,540 What do you mean,"at what"? I said "luke." 120 00:04:52,580 --> 00:04:54,370 I am looking. 121 00:04:54,400 --> 00:04:57,610 I know you are. Stay on the beams. 122 00:04:57,770 --> 00:04:59,520 Maybe it's here. 123 00:05:00,240 --> 00:05:03,420 Ay,dios mio! El diablo! It's back! 124 00:05:05,500 --> 00:05:08,510 What is so special about that angel,anyways? 125 00:05:08,550 --> 00:05:12,610 I don't know. I guess nana made it for mom and uncle mitchell when they were kids. 126 00:05:12,720 --> 00:05:15,000 Ay,that's nice. 127 00:05:15,980 --> 00:05:17,670 Look where you're going! 128 00:05:17,710 --> 00:05:19,090 To open more boxes. 129 00:05:23,370 --> 00:05:26,360 oh,you said "look where you're going," didn't you? 130 00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:27,920 yes. 131 00:05:27,950 --> 00:05:30,630 Every time you say "luke," I think you're saying "look." 132 00:05:30,670 --> 00:05:32,310 I don't hear the difference. 133 00:05:32,350 --> 00:05:34,530 It's not that hard. One is my name. 134 00:05:34,570 --> 00:05:35,920 Juan is not your name! 135 00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:39,020 Stop kidding around and look,luke! 136 00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:42,670 Ay,I get it. "look" sounds like "luke." 137 00:05:42,710 --> 00:05:44,680 yes. Thank god. 138 00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:47,680 I've been carrying that one around for three years. 139 00:05:49,450 --> 00:05:51,780 Ugh. There's like a hundred things on this list. 140 00:05:51,820 --> 00:05:54,280 I know but it's just the two of us. It's fun. 141 00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:56,620 Okay,it's not fake mother's day. 142 00:05:56,770 --> 00:05:59,120 Ugh! This place is huge! 143 00:05:59,190 --> 00:06:01,140 oh,plus we have to cook dinner! 144 00:06:01,170 --> 00:06:02,410 This is impossible. 145 00:06:02,440 --> 00:06:04,360 Listen to me. 146 00:06:04,670 --> 00:06:07,640 Your whole life has led to this moment. 147 00:06:07,710 --> 00:06:11,480 All the training,the hours of dedication... 148 00:06:11,510 --> 00:06:14,350 There's not a soul alive who can touch you when it comes to shopping, 149 00:06:14,390 --> 00:06:15,530 and,baby,you know it. 150 00:06:15,570 --> 00:06:17,570 Look at me. 151 00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:20,280 Be you. 152 00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:22,300 Give me that list. 153 00:06:22,340 --> 00:06:24,140 Never been more proud in my life. 154 00:06:24,180 --> 00:06:26,080 - Come on. - no. 155 00:06:27,770 --> 00:06:29,090 This way. 156 00:06:32,310 --> 00:06:33,210 What about this one? 157 00:06:33,250 --> 00:06:35,280 Let's see. No. No. 158 00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:37,010 I'm sorry,I know I'm being really o.c.d. Right now, 159 00:06:37,040 --> 00:06:39,440 but there's something very particular that I'm looking for. 160 00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:43,980 It needs to be a douglas fir,at least 8 feet tall,and look good from all sides. 161 00:06:44,020 --> 00:06:45,230 Exactly. No bald spots. 162 00:06:45,270 --> 00:06:47,210 Yes. Thank you. Thank you. 163 00:06:47,250 --> 00:06:49,600 The key is symmetry,right? 164 00:06:53,140 --> 00:06:54,690 how come we never go shopping together? 165 00:06:54,730 --> 00:06:57,140 - Because I hate shopping. - I do,too! 166 00:06:57,270 --> 00:06:58,840 - Okay,this one. - Wait. 167 00:06:59,180 --> 00:07:00,820 Oh. No,no,no. Oh,no,no,no,no. 168 00:07:00,850 --> 00:07:02,570 Uh,I think I know what you're looking for, 169 00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:05,320 and we just got a shipment that might be perfect for you. 170 00:07:07,050 --> 00:07:08,760 Okay,wow. 171 00:07:08,790 --> 00:07:11,390 Just because my uncle is clearly gay... 172 00:07:11,430 --> 00:07:14,170 doesn't mean he'd ever want your tacky pink tree. 173 00:07:14,210 --> 00:07:16,590 And frankly,we'd rather throw some lights on a coatrack 174 00:07:16,620 --> 00:07:20,810 than have to deal with knuckle-draggers like you today of all days. 175 00:07:21,150 --> 00:07:23,020 December 16th. 176 00:07:23,060 --> 00:07:25,710 Okay,first of all,amazing. 177 00:07:25,750 --> 00:07:27,980 Second of all - I was pointing to the truck. 178 00:07:28,020 --> 00:07:30,100 It's full of 8- foot douglas-firs. 179 00:07:30,140 --> 00:07:31,590 It's behind the pink tree. 180 00:07:31,620 --> 00:07:36,580 Second of all,uh,we're-we're gonna go ahead and take,uh,this-this tree... 181 00:07:36,620 --> 00:07:39,630 - That one. - And we're going to tie it onto our car ourselves. 182 00:07:39,670 --> 00:07:41,580 You bet you will. 183 00:07:41,990 --> 00:07:44,030 - I have two daddies. - He gets it,lily. 184 00:07:44,070 --> 00:07:45,740 Yeah. 185 00:07:48,500 --> 00:07:50,290 Oh. Finger. 186 00:07:51,110 --> 00:07:51,930 All right. 187 00:07:51,970 --> 00:07:54,760 Cam and jay-you know,sort of sounds like a bird. 188 00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:58,110 "the migratory patterns of the cam and jay... " 189 00:07:58,310 --> 00:07:59,720 do you have any more tape in that thing? 190 00:07:59,760 --> 00:08:01,390 Do I have more tape in that? 191 00:08:01,420 --> 00:08:03,020 I got a tank full of tape,mister. 192 00:08:03,050 --> 00:08:05,090 What do you want? Invisible? Satin finish? 193 00:08:05,120 --> 00:08:07,110 - Uh,double sided? - Whatever. Whatever. 194 00:08:07,150 --> 00:08:08,800 Okay. 195 00:08:11,850 --> 00:08:13,130 That's interesting. 196 00:08:13,170 --> 00:08:14,670 I doubt that it is,but what? 197 00:08:14,710 --> 00:08:16,470 Well,I mean the way you wrap a gift. 198 00:08:16,510 --> 00:08:19,390 That's a lot of tape. Nobody can get in. 199 00:08:19,420 --> 00:08:25,440 Kind of like... You know... I mean,well,you let me in, 200 00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:29,300 but in general,w - Why so much tape,jay? 201 00:08:29,380 --> 00:08:31,620 Why are you wearing a sweater when it's 95 degrees out? 202 00:08:31,660 --> 00:08:33,530 It's my christmas sweater. 203 00:08:33,570 --> 00:08:36,120 Based on those stains,you are the christmas sweater. 204 00:08:38,420 --> 00:08:41,010 Well,who's been a very good boy? 205 00:08:45,050 --> 00:08:47,820 So... 206 00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:54,020 Okay. Are we gonna talk about the elephant in the room, 207 00:08:54,060 --> 00:08:56,180 which is ironic because it's so tiny? 208 00:08:56,750 --> 00:08:59,100 A man doesn't give another man a gift this small. 209 00:08:59,140 --> 00:09:01,350 Oh,what do you think it is,a ring? 210 00:09:07,810 --> 00:09:10,760 - Was there wine with this cork? - Yes,there was,and we drank it on... 211 00:09:10,830 --> 00:09:12,390 Oh,we drank it on,uh... eh? 212 00:09:12,420 --> 00:09:15,830 Yeah. Um... On that boat. 213 00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:19,500 - You have no idea. - I can't even remember my own anniversary,cam. 214 00:09:19,530 --> 00:09:23,360 How would I have remembered having had wine with my son's boyfriend? 215 00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:25,360 No,I do this. This is my fault. 216 00:09:25,390 --> 00:09:28,220 I - I attach too much meaning to things. 217 00:09:28,260 --> 00:09:31,730 I mean,we watched our first football game together five years ago, 218 00:09:31,770 --> 00:09:34,810 and I feel the need to save the cork from the bottle of wine you served. 219 00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:36,410 I mean,who does that? 220 00:09:36,410 --> 00:09:37,540 It's not your only gift,by the way. 221 00:09:37,570 --> 00:09:39,760 There's a duplicate bottle in that box right over there 222 00:09:39,800 --> 00:09:44,370 which I had engraved with the date and the final score,because I have a problem. 223 00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:46,250 I feel too much. I gotta get going to claire's. 224 00:09:46,290 --> 00:09:48,970 - Cam... - No. Fresh wound. Can't talk yet. 225 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:50,850 Fine. We'll put a cork in it. 226 00:09:50,890 --> 00:09:52,750 Let it scab,jay. 227 00:09:52,820 --> 00:09:54,860 Let it scab. 228 00:10:02,970 --> 00:10:04,390 Oh,there you are. I thought I'd lost you. 229 00:10:04,430 --> 00:10:07,280 Oh,I'm sorry. I may have taken a few minutes to try out a futon. 230 00:10:07,350 --> 00:10:08,160 It's a young woman's game. 231 00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:09,860 Okay. Where do we stand? 232 00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:11,640 - I think we have everything. - yes! 233 00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:14,630 Oh... Except the ladybug night-light for lily. 234 00:10:16,530 --> 00:10:18,380 - Haley,your whole life has led up... - Oh,I got it,mom,I got it. 235 00:10:18,410 --> 00:10:20,380 Okay,okay,I'll b - I'll see you in line. 236 00:10:35,570 --> 00:10:37,110 Yes,ronald? 237 00:10:37,150 --> 00:10:40,000 I not only found it,I got the last one. 238 00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:43,040 Yes,the ladybug,not the turtle. 239 00:10:43,190 --> 00:10:46,300 I also got the doll,so I'm all set. I'm gonna leave in five. 240 00:10:54,220 --> 00:10:55,260 Or maybe I just want paper. 241 00:10:55,300 --> 00:10:57,430 Paper. Paper. Just paper all the way. Yeah. 242 00:10:57,470 --> 00:10:59,210 Haley! 243 00:11:01,410 --> 00:11:03,850 Too late to change my mind? 244 00:11:04,670 --> 00:11:07,450 Sir,would you like me to hold your merchandise up at the register 245 00:11:07,490 --> 00:11:08,620 while you finish shopping? 246 00:11:08,660 --> 00:11:10,630 Oh. Aren't you a dream? 247 00:11:16,300 --> 00:11:17,950 Pack of gum. 248 00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:23,590 And... One more pack of gum. 249 00:11:25,300 --> 00:11:27,490 People drop in this time of year,you know. 250 00:11:27,530 --> 00:11:29,250 Excuse me. Sorry. Pardon me. 251 00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:31,090 Sorry. Excuse me. 252 00:11:31,280 --> 00:11:32,940 Night-light you were looking for,ma'am. 253 00:11:32,980 --> 00:11:33,900 Ring her up,madison. 254 00:11:33,940 --> 00:11:36,030 Thank you. 255 00:11:36,710 --> 00:11:38,470 There you go. 256 00:11:40,790 --> 00:11:42,040 You're leaving me alone here? 257 00:11:42,070 --> 00:11:45,510 No,no,no,no. I... It'll,uh,it'll just take me two minutes. 258 00:11:45,550 --> 00:11:48,020 I need to get jay's supersecret special gift. 259 00:11:48,050 --> 00:11:51,750 Great. First you lose me in the grocery store,now I'm in a deserted parking lot. 260 00:11:51,790 --> 00:11:54,500 Why don't you just put a sign on me that says "free kid"? 261 00:11:54,730 --> 00:11:55,840 I think that might be him. 262 00:11:55,870 --> 00:11:57,660 You don't know the guy we're meeting? 263 00:11:57,690 --> 00:11:59,080 That's how craigslist works. 264 00:11:59,120 --> 00:12:01,590 Total strangers sell you things like signed vintage baseball cards 265 00:12:01,630 --> 00:12:04,300 that make your father-in-law respect you for an afternoon. 266 00:12:04,340 --> 00:12:06,440 I don't like the looks of this guy. 267 00:12:06,540 --> 00:12:07,850 He looks like everybody else. 268 00:12:07,880 --> 00:12:10,640 Great. You can just tell that to the police sketch artist. 269 00:12:12,350 --> 00:12:13,330 Joe dimaggio? 270 00:12:13,370 --> 00:12:15,620 Phil dunphy,but I get that a lot. 271 00:12:15,690 --> 00:12:17,210 Kidding. I'm your guy. 272 00:12:17,250 --> 00:12:17,930 Can I see the cash? 273 00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:22,040 Yes. Can I... Can I see the card? 274 00:12:25,060 --> 00:12:27,160 Mint condition. 275 00:12:27,190 --> 00:12:28,740 That's why I want another $50. 276 00:12:28,780 --> 00:12:30,770 I only have the $200. 277 00:12:30,810 --> 00:12:31,900 Uh,deal's off,then. 278 00:12:31,940 --> 00:12:37,600 Come on. It's christmas... At our house. It's a long story. 279 00:12:38,160 --> 00:12:39,170 $225. 280 00:12:39,210 --> 00:12:40,860 I just spent all my cash on groceries. 281 00:12:40,900 --> 00:12:43,760 - Fine. But I'm taking the butterball. - I don't know about that. 282 00:12:43,790 --> 00:12:45,560 That's it. I'm getting mother's little helper. 283 00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:47,750 - What? - My mom keeps a stun gun for emergencies. 284 00:12:47,790 --> 00:12:50,550 This isn't an emergen - eeh! 285 00:12:53,760 --> 00:12:56,190 Now it is. 286 00:13:02,140 --> 00:13:03,770 I thought he was going to snatch me. 287 00:13:03,810 --> 00:13:07,360 A butterball is a turkey. 288 00:13:07,490 --> 00:13:08,170 What'd he say? 289 00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:13,000 I think he said,"a butterball's a turkey." I was reaching for the turkey. 290 00:13:13,030 --> 00:13:15,820 Oh. Well,we can't give you our turkey. 291 00:13:17,060 --> 00:13:18,470 Yes,we can. 292 00:13:18,510 --> 00:13:21,900 And... Here's the... Money. 293 00:13:27,070 --> 00:13:28,970 Joe dimaggio! 294 00:13:29,010 --> 00:13:31,390 Joe dimaggio. 295 00:13:35,150 --> 00:13:40,830 Mint condit- Near-mint con- 296 00:13:44,580 --> 00:13:50,690 Fair condit - Garbage. 297 00:13:59,150 --> 00:14:01,470 Huh. Never saw this before. 298 00:14:01,550 --> 00:14:04,070 "an angel for my angels. Love,mom." 299 00:14:04,110 --> 00:14:06,180 Oh,that's beautiful. 300 00:14:06,260 --> 00:14:08,770 And it smells like mothballs,just like nana. 301 00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:10,210 Luke... 302 00:14:10,250 --> 00:14:12,550 - Thank-merry christmas.- Just-just give it up. 303 00:14:14,310 --> 00:14:15,610 He hates us. 304 00:14:15,650 --> 00:14:17,170 Don't beat yourself up. 305 00:14:17,210 --> 00:14:18,900 I do that,like,once a week. 306 00:14:18,940 --> 00:14:22,210 The good news is,we never have to come back here. 307 00:14:22,470 --> 00:14:24,880 Watch out! 308 00:14:24,910 --> 00:14:27,110 - The tree! - I can't watch! 309 00:14:27,180 --> 00:14:29,430 - Look! - Ay,yes,I said "luke." 310 00:14:29,460 --> 00:14:31,860 - you told me already. I did it right! - No! Look! 311 00:14:33,930 --> 00:14:35,880 Never look back. Never! 312 00:14:39,220 --> 00:14:41,880 Maybe we can salvage it? 313 00:14:46,180 --> 00:14:47,520 Are you okay,papi? 314 00:14:47,560 --> 00:14:48,610 yeah. 315 00:14:48,650 --> 00:14:51,710 Good. That's because we had our guardian angel. 316 00:14:51,780 --> 00:14:54,080 Ay! A spider! 317 00:15:01,700 --> 00:15:02,710 hey,mom? 318 00:15:02,740 --> 00:15:04,630 Check it. 319 00:15:04,670 --> 00:15:05,780 The gum! 320 00:15:05,820 --> 00:15:08,650 Oh,and you made it pretty. Honey,put it on the table. 321 00:15:08,690 --> 00:15:11,070 - New tradition? - Oh,yes. Yes. 322 00:15:12,450 --> 00:15:14,240 Christmas gum. 323 00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:16,160 I take one. 324 00:15:16,710 --> 00:15:19,090 Tough to decorate the tree with no tree,huh? 325 00:15:19,130 --> 00:15:20,860 Yeah. 326 00:15:22,040 --> 00:15:23,720 How long you gonna ignore me,cam? 327 00:15:23,750 --> 00:15:25,620 Until the shame cloud clears. 328 00:15:25,660 --> 00:15:27,510 You know,I push. I'm a pusher. 329 00:15:27,550 --> 00:15:28,620 You gotta give yourself a break. 330 00:15:28,660 --> 00:15:32,840 See,the thing about me,i'm not as open with feelings as you. 331 00:15:32,910 --> 00:15:35,180 You've gotta lower your expectations. 332 00:15:35,220 --> 00:15:36,680 Oh,I get it. 333 00:15:36,750 --> 00:15:38,860 - Baby steps. - No steps. 334 00:15:38,900 --> 00:15:40,400 This is it. 335 00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:41,700 See? Did it again. 336 00:15:41,740 --> 00:15:42,970 Push! Push,push,push,push. 337 00:15:43,010 --> 00:15:44,220 Now I've pushed you out of the room. 338 00:15:44,250 --> 00:15:46,210 That's fine. 339 00:15:46,930 --> 00:15:47,910 How is she? 340 00:15:47,950 --> 00:15:50,890 I got the tire marks off her wings,but I can't get her head to stay on. 341 00:15:50,930 --> 00:15:53,410 Okay,that's what this is for. 342 00:15:53,450 --> 00:15:58,740 Now stick it in the top of the tree with the good part facing out. Come on. 343 00:15:58,870 --> 00:16:00,160 Well,that stuffing looks good. 344 00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:01,910 All we need now is a turkey to surround it. 345 00:16:01,940 --> 00:16:05,710 Well,relax. Phil just texted,and he's "on his wax." 346 00:16:05,740 --> 00:16:08,470 Okay! Here comes the tree. 347 00:16:08,500 --> 00:16:10,210 oh! Finally! 348 00:16:10,450 --> 00:16:12,660 - Here comes more of the tree. - Hi,honey. 349 00:16:12,900 --> 00:16:14,280 Oh. Oh,my gosh. What happened? 350 00:16:14,310 --> 00:16:15,940 Well,uh,someone ran over it, 351 00:16:15,970 --> 00:16:18,810 but that's okay 'cause we are gonna put it back together. 352 00:16:18,850 --> 00:16:19,880 Right now. 353 00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:21,330 He's gonna need a lot of gum. 354 00:16:21,370 --> 00:16:23,690 Oh,thank god. Here comes phil and the butterball. 355 00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:25,150 I have a name. 356 00:16:25,190 --> 00:16:28,000 I am sorry,but there is no turkey. 357 00:16:28,030 --> 00:16:30,380 There's no turkey? What's the plan,phil? 358 00:16:30,420 --> 00:16:32,050 Cornish game hens. 359 00:16:32,090 --> 00:16:36,510 If you get real close,they look like turkeys,and everyone gets their own. 360 00:16:36,540 --> 00:16:37,880 Sounds like fun. 361 00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:41,590 Not fun. Not fun. I asked you to pick up a cooked turkey. 362 00:16:41,620 --> 00:16:42,740 The store was out of turkeys. 363 00:16:42,780 --> 00:16:44,160 It was an hour to express christmas. 364 00:16:44,190 --> 00:16:46,940 Please,just make it work,okay? Please. 365 00:16:46,980 --> 00:16:48,190 They're not even defrosted. 366 00:16:48,230 --> 00:16:49,230 Fine,claire. 367 00:16:49,270 --> 00:16:50,750 You want 'em defrosted? 368 00:16:50,780 --> 00:16:53,550 Merry... Freaking... Christmas! 369 00:16:53,580 --> 00:16:55,750 Phil! 370 00:16:55,980 --> 00:16:57,150 Is that my stun gun? 371 00:16:57,180 --> 00:16:59,750 Yep. And it works great. 372 00:17:00,350 --> 00:17:01,820 Okay. Okay. 373 00:17:01,860 --> 00:17:04,340 Um... We can make this work. This can work. 374 00:17:04,380 --> 00:17:06,930 Dad,you and mitchell reassemble that tree. 375 00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:07,760 All right. 376 00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:10,680 And I am going to defrost these birds,and we'll cook them in shifts, 377 00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:12,710 and we'll just push dinner back by a bit. 378 00:17:12,740 --> 00:17:15,190 Oh,how long? 'cause I still have my party. 379 00:17:15,230 --> 00:17:17,530 - What the hell happened to the angel? - No! 380 00:17:17,560 --> 00:17:21,030 The real question here is,how come we still have the dog butler? 381 00:17:21,070 --> 00:17:22,020 Oh,you found him,huh? 382 00:17:22,060 --> 00:17:24,100 Well,this thing is - It's filthy. 383 00:17:24,140 --> 00:17:26,990 And... What happened?! 384 00:17:27,060 --> 00:17:28,520 It got run over. 385 00:17:28,590 --> 00:17:31,700 Probably by the same maniac who ran over the tree. 386 00:17:31,740 --> 00:17:34,530 Oh,my god. Is that - Yep. Yep,that's gum. That is gum. 387 00:17:34,560 --> 00:17:37,590 Okay,I'm... I'm out. I'm done. I am out. 388 00:17:37,630 --> 00:17:41,740 No. No turkey,no tree,and now this looks like the lady she used to be 389 00:17:41,780 --> 00:17:44,170 before she died and became an angel. 390 00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:46,410 All right. Relax,mitchell. It's an ornament. 391 00:17:46,450 --> 00:17:48,590 No,he's right. We're never gonna get this together. 392 00:17:48,630 --> 00:17:50,450 - I'm going to my party. - No,no. No,you're not. 393 00:17:50,480 --> 00:17:51,510 You are not. You're staying right here, 394 00:17:51,550 --> 00:17:54,670 because you're not going to abandon your family...On christmas. 395 00:17:54,710 --> 00:17:55,750 It's not christmas. 396 00:17:55,790 --> 00:17:58,740 Exactly. Exactly. It's not christmas,claire. 397 00:17:58,900 --> 00:18:00,160 Okay,fine! 398 00:18:00,190 --> 00:18:03,830 Fine! You know what? I am really tired of trying to make this work on my own. 399 00:18:03,900 --> 00:18:06,410 I will see you people in a year. 400 00:18:06,450 --> 00:18:07,530 And nine days. 401 00:18:07,570 --> 00:18:10,260 No! Nobody goes anywhere. 402 00:18:10,640 --> 00:18:13,450 I know what the problem is here. 403 00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:16,560 You two miss your mommy. 404 00:18:16,630 --> 00:18:18,630 - no. - I do not miss my mommy. 405 00:18:18,670 --> 00:18:20,660 Admit it. It's sad. 406 00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:23,430 She used to make you cookies,the angel... 407 00:18:23,470 --> 00:18:28,500 Now she talks to you in a newsletter and she cancels for no reason. 408 00:18:28,540 --> 00:18:30,680 Come here,my little ones. 409 00:18:30,720 --> 00:18:32,900 No. We're... Good. No,it's fine. We're good. It's not a big deal. 410 00:18:32,940 --> 00:18:35,390 It's christmas. You need a mommy. 411 00:18:35,430 --> 00:18:37,680 - You're not mommy. - But you're not our mommy. 412 00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:41,140 And it's not christmas. Come here. 413 00:18:41,250 --> 00:18:43,390 It's okay to miss her. 414 00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:46,550 Can I put in my 2 cents on fake christmas? 415 00:18:46,590 --> 00:18:47,700 Express christmas. 416 00:18:47,740 --> 00:18:49,740 Let it go,phil. It's not sticking. 417 00:18:49,780 --> 00:18:51,720 It needs time. 418 00:18:51,920 --> 00:18:54,450 We all gave it our best shot to make this thing work. 419 00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:56,320 It just didn't happen,all right? 420 00:18:56,350 --> 00:18:58,420 What do you say we cut our losses? 421 00:18:58,490 --> 00:19:03,490 Let's go out to a nice chinese restaurant and have a traditional jewish christmas. 422 00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:05,250 But I risked my life grocery shopping. 423 00:19:05,290 --> 00:19:07,040 Save that story for wang fu. 424 00:19:07,070 --> 00:19:08,660 Now let's go. Come on,everybody. 425 00:19:08,690 --> 00:19:11,360 Oh,wang fu's? Dad,no. On me! Out! Everybody out! 426 00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:13,750 Wang fu's. It's on me. 427 00:19:13,790 --> 00:19:15,860 Let's go. Come on,baby girl. 428 00:19:15,900 --> 00:19:17,050 Come on,honey. 429 00:19:22,950 --> 00:19:25,130 - What's going on? - Awesome! 430 00:19:30,340 --> 00:19:32,520 You hate chinese food. 431 00:19:36,930 --> 00:19:39,280 Not bad,huh? 432 00:19:39,390 --> 00:19:42,200 Jay,jay,jay. 433 00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:44,460 You wanna hug me,don't you? I kind of do. 434 00:19:44,500 --> 00:19:45,220 4 to 5 seconds. 435 00:19:45,260 --> 00:19:47,610 - 45 seconds? - 4 to 5 seconds. 436 00:19:47,650 --> 00:19:49,430 Oh,okay. 437 00:19:53,490 --> 00:19:55,580 Family is family. 438 00:19:55,620 --> 00:19:57,500 Whether it's the one you start out with... 439 00:19:57,540 --> 00:20:00,380 - Hi,mom! Hi,mom! - Merry christmas! 440 00:20:00,780 --> 00:20:03,830 - So,um,tell us everything about the new boyfriend. - Oh,yeah. 441 00:20:03,860 --> 00:20:06,310 - Don't leave anything out. - You can leave some things out. 442 00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:08,540 The one that you end up with... 443 00:20:10,690 --> 00:20:14,320 Or the family that you gain along the way... 444 00:20:22,700 --> 00:20:27,160 Which makes every day december 16th. 445 00:20:32,970 --> 00:20:35,660 Hey,jay,um,I'm sorry about the baseball card. 446 00:20:35,700 --> 00:20:37,830 I- I did get you a- a backup gift. 447 00:20:37,870 --> 00:20:41,190 It's-it's nothing. I picked it up when we stopped for gas. 448 00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:43,970 Dog antlers. 449 00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:46,260 I know. You got us snow,and I got you dog antlers. 450 00:20:46,300 --> 00:20:48,600 - I love these. - I thought you might. 451 00:20:48,630 --> 00:20:50,540 Honey,look. Come here. 452 00:20:52,900 --> 00:20:54,510 How cute is that? 453 00:20:54,540 --> 00:20:55,670 Where's my camera? 454 00:20:55,700 --> 00:20:57,460 Gloria, you gotta see this! 455 00:20:57,490 --> 00:20:59,550 Casta, Gloria! 456 00:20:59,580 --> 00:21:02,650 - Dog antlers... - He loves dog antlers. 457 00:21:02,690 --> 00:21:04,520 Oh, no! Okay! 458 00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:12,920 I am so sorry. 459 00:21:13,260 --> 00:21:14,680 -=http://bbs.sfile2012.com=- -=http://ytet.org=- Proudly Presents 460 00:21:14,710 --> 00:21:15,980 -=http://bbs.sfile2012.com=- -=http://ytet.org=- Sync:ɭƤ������ 461 00:21:16,120 --> 00:21:18,420 Modern Family Season 3 Episode 10 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net